My family is a constant reminder to me of why I prefer being single and why I crave so often to live alone. It's the way we as a family were raised. There is always so much fighting which I guess comes with any family but man my family is so fucking ugly about it. They don't want to discuss or argue out a specific instance and just leave it at that, they instead want to bring up anything and everything hurtful that they can think of until they have found some way to feel like they've won.
I can't remember in my relationships if I fought that way or not but I KNOW I don't do it anymore. I make it a point to not live that way, not act that way, not project that way. I make it a point to focus on the facts and what is actually going on and not bring up all of this crap that happened before. I mean what the hell is the point of even having that kind of argument?? You certainly aren't accomplishing anything. You're just being mean.
And it is EXACTLY what I don't want to do to my girls.
It is EXACTLY what I want to keep them from doing to the people in their lives.
I am so unbelievably careful about what I argue with people about and when I do, it's just to stop something from happening (or start something, whichever the case may be). I very rarely will lose my temper but when I do, I make it a point to stay on topic.
And my family? They make it a point to get off topic in any direction necessary to feel like they've won.
I just don't understand it.
And I don't understand how I am from a family like that.
Or why my family doesn't change their unhealthy behavior.
Why would you want to be like that?

Labels: Being a Chic, Being Mommy, family drama, my crazy life, my mother, Noah, un-fucking-believable