Kale, leeks and pesto over pumpkin ginger rice noodles...
(for two servings) 1 tbl olive oil 1 leek, roughly chopped 1/3 red bell pepper, diced 1 head of kale 2 tbl basil pesto 2 tbl almond milk, unsweetened 1 package soba rice noodles
Heat olive oil over medium heat and saute leeks and bell peppers for about five minutes. Lower heat to medium/low and add kale, stirring occasionally until tender. I added some white pepper, herbs de Provence, celery salt and a little garlic powder here, you can spice as you'd like. Add two tablespoons of basil pesto (I make mine with basil, pumpkin seeds, garlic and olive oil) and a few table spoons of unsweetened almond milk, more if you want it more sauce like. Serve over rice noodles.
Other than the pure clensing effect of blogging and the numerous friendships I've made out here in the blogosphere over the years, I occasionally run into opportunities that have only come up because I blog. This week, I was lucky enough to receive an email from CSN Stores to asking me if I'd be interested in reviewing one of their products. It was an easy YES once I saw how many fabulous products there are out there to review! CSN Stores has over 200 online stores where you can find anything you need whether it be a snuggly new bedding, a chic bar stool or even gorgeous dinnerware! *sigh* I love kitchen stuff. And there are scads and scads of kitchen stuff available. So I am gonna go browsing :-) I'll let you know what I pick!
2 cups unbleached white wheat flour 2 tsp baking powder 1/2 tsp salt 6 tablespoons vegan margarine, chilled 1 cup unsweetened almond milk rosemary, optional
Using a food processor, combine sliced margarine with flour, baking powder and salt until crumbly. Add almond milk until just combined... with biscuits, the less you mix, the better. Spray a twelve count muffin tin with non-stick spray, divide the batter evenly. I like really big biscuits so I will use a larger six count tin. Sprinkle the tops with rosemary.
Bake at 450 for ten to fifteen minutes, until golden brown on top.
Ok, so I don't think you can say "being" when you are entering your second week BUT I have to say that I could seriously see this as a lifestyle change for me permanently. It wasn't hard like I thought it would be. Whenever one considers a diet change, you always see yourself with the little food journal and a calorie calculator and you know it will be work. But not so much for this one... I had to change what I buy at the store and the fact that Amanda and Trin are not on board blows because I have to make more than one dinner but as far as will power? Cake. Well, cake with no eggs anyway. There are a gazillion awesome websites out there where I can find recipe ideas but with the exception of baking, it isn't rocket science. Substitute soy, almond, coconut or rice milk for just about everything calling for milk... and so far, there hasn't been anything I can't use ground flax in to cover for a lack of eggs in baking. No meat? No problem. I don't even really miss it. The other day I was baking some chicken strips for Trin and Amanda and I didn't want to pop one in my mouth at all ;-) Last night, I reheated a frozen brisket that The Cake Lady's husband made the last time we bbqed and as I was cutting it up for Amanda, it didn't bother me at all. Although I did stick my finger in the bbq sauce that he made to go with it because that shit is gooooooooood. I can't do a freaking thing with tofu yet... how did something like tofu become intimidating? The coolest thing? I can eat pretty much whatever I want and kind of feel guilt free about it. Second helping of salad? Yeah, well, it's SALAD. lol Oh and I love cous-cous and quinoa a bunch! Since I am only going into week two, I am not feeling secure enough to host my girl's night dinner with a vegan menu that will knock anyones socks off so we will be taking a break this weekend so I can make Chicken Spaghetti and a Mandarin Orange cake, both recipes from Mow's bag of old recipes that I finally finagled away from my Aunts who were keeping them hidden away. I will be posting both recipes here with photos and reviews.
It's been a long time since I've just cried. There have been reasons enough for months. In fact, I remember thinking the other day that it was strange that I hadn't cried in awhile. I was listening to John Mayer's Edge of Desire while driving home and it just hit me, punched me square in the gut and suddenly I was spinning. I felt overwhelmed and desperate and scared. And then it passed. And I took a deep breath and wiped my face and life resumed, as it does. You just have to feel things when they come and then let them go when you are done. It was a long day and I felt a lot. And today, it's done.
Being a mother means making hard choices. It means that even after you've learned hard lessons, you have to watch your children learn them again, for themselves. There is a saying that I always think of when being a mom is hard... “Making the decision to have a child - It's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.”- Elizabeth Stone
Let me tell you a little secret about raising a teenager... even when she is an awesome kid who makes great grades and who doesn't have sex and who is cheerful about 85% of the time and who keeps her room relatively clean and who helps with dinner and knows how to dust the right way... even then, it's hard to raise her. It's hard to help her make the right choices. It's hard to let her make the wrong ones. And sometimes, like right now, it's hard to know which is which.
Last year, she was in seventh grade and a boy who rides her bus was in ninth grade. She and this boy became friends. He was and still is this geeky looking kid whose feet are too big for his body, he wears glasses and draws pictures. He doesn't look like the kind of boy you need to be too wary of. I'm beginning to think that they all are anyway. So last year, they become friends. In fact, there was a whole group of kids she was friends with on the bus... her little bus posse. And then the trouble started. This boy started dating a girl in high school. A bad misguided girl. The kind of girl who is in trouble all the time, who spends her afternoons in detention, who gets suspended. I don't know this girl so I am hesitant to cast judgement but suffice it to say, she was spending her days in in-school suspension and her afternoons running around town. And for whatever reason, she set her sights on this boy and he started spending time with her. It only lasted a few weeks and Amanda came home and griped about this girl and how she was trying to get this boy to get into trouble all the time. I reminded her, as I do whenever the opportunity arises, that he is responsible for his choices, not this other girl. In a flurry of activity, many things happened quite suddenly. The boy and the girl slept together. The boy and the girl broke up. The girl claimed rape. The girl admitted no rape, but confirmed pregnancy. The girl also admitted multiple partners. The boy was shipped away to relatives. I took advantage of all this drama to have several BIG conversations with my daughter about choices and behavior and responsibility.
Now, having been down the teenaged pregnancy road before, I sympathize with these kids, truly I do. That being said, I do not ever want to have to sympathize with any of my own children in that sense. I'd like to get all of my girls well into adulthood without any of them having babies. So, the boy moved away and Amanda and he stayed friends online and via text but the updates on the girl and the boy were few and far between. Admittedly, I was relieved. Not long afterwards, Cody moved back. And in with us. And away. Another big sigh of relief but not without the recognition that while I don't want these boys thinking about my daughter naked, I also feel for them. I cared about Cody. I wanted to help him. Sometimes I feel like there is something inside of me that tries to reach out and latch onto people and pull them in closer. Even when I don't want to, it still happens. The thing that Cody had in common with this boy? Both sets of parents blow. So the boy moved back at the end of the summer (practically coinciding with Cody leaving) and he and Amanda became fast friends again. And then with the beginning of the school year, just a mere three weeks ago, they started "going out". And when I say "going out" PLEASE NOTICE THE QUOTATION MARKS because my daughter isn't going to movies or out to dinner or even for a damn walk with this kid, they just ride the bus and have the social status of going out and they might hold hands or have long texting conversations but they aren't dating. Because my daughters aren't allowed to date until they are sixteen. But at the same time, I realize that "going out" with boys, which they've been doing in school since the second grade, happens. I don't like it but in order to maintain some kind of control and facilitate honesty in my household, there it is. And more times than not, when it happens, it is over just as quickly. So when Amanda came to me to let me know that he and this boy were going out, I inwardly cringed but outwardly kept my cool. And have held onto that cool for the last few weeks as this girl has gotten closer to delivery. Now, there is some possibility that this isn't the boy's baby but his parents, who blow, are practically excited about the baby being born and have agreed to start paying child support without a paternity test. There are so many things about this boys parents that I don't understand but I really cannot fathom not getting a paternity test when this girl has admitted she was with other guys at the same time. As a parent, I am struggling with all of this. A lot. On the one hand, I feel like I am limiting what Amanda can get away with but simultaneously, I am having a bunch of chats with her about all of this. She has been crystal clear in letting me know just how much she understands right now that one time is all it takes. She has told me that she doesn't want to get pregnant, doesn't want to have sex yet and man oh man does she ever have the shining example of how easily those things could happen now. We've talked about how many girls at school have already been pregnant or had babies... Teenaged pregnancy is no longer a ship your daugter off to her Aunt's house for the summer thing. It's in your face, it's happening a lot. At the same time, I've told her that as soon as she even thinks she might want to have sex, she needs to let me know because we will get her ass to a gynecologist immediately and she can choose the form of birth control she wants to be on first. And we can learn the names of all the stds ever. On the other hand, I want to forbid it. All of it. Sex. Boys. "Going Out". Growing Up. But I can't. Forbidding it all closes the communication doors and I'd rather help guide her through her choices than try and make them for her or worse, have her make them behind my back.
Yesterday the girl had her baby. The boy wasn't at school because his parents took him to the delivery. And when Amanda got home, she was upset because everyone had been talking about it all day long. There are no books on how to handle this. How to handle that the boy your daughter likes already has a baby (if it's his) or that everyone keeps gossiping about it or that she's not even fourteen for another ten weeks.
And all the while, I'm starting to look at Emilee and wonder.
I'm excited about this. I've been wanting to try it for a long time and never found the "right" time. We discussed it a week or so ago and started to get all the stuff we'd need and cut down on the meat and dairy in our lives over the last week. I think we can do it. So today for breakfast, I had a slice of toast with soy "butter" (which doesn't taste bad like I thought it would) and some malt-o-meal with maple syrup. And for lunch I had pita chips (my new fav) and a veggie burger on whole wheat with spinach and avacado. The avacado really helps with the whole no mayo thing. Not sure what we are having for dinner yet but I am pretty sure it will be one of the soups I made over the weekend. With the exception of cheese, I don't mind so much. Almond milk is a killer substitute for regular milk and we use rice or soy milk for cooking.
I also cut out coffee when the girls went back to school.. not completely mind, just stopped drinking it daily. I find I still like a nice hot glass of it on Sundays when I am reading blogs in my pjs :-)
Last night, at the end of Mamma Mia! Trin looked at me and said, "Mamma, you should get married soon." I laughed and asked her, "to who?" She said, "someone who you like and who is nice." I told her as soon as she found that person to let me know. She thought about this for a few minutes and then said, "you know Mom, pretty soon there will be a better chance of you being in a bank robbery then there will of you getting married."
How are things? It's Friday. Oh baby, when did Friday start to look so sexy? I remember when Friday was just kinda hot.... or back in school when Friday was just a cute dude I checked out from across the classroom but was kind of indifferent to. No, my friends, Friday has blossomed into a hunky, ripped, stud-muffin with a good job and spontaneous tendencies to be romantic. I luff him. I'm entering a calm. A place in my life where things are slowed down and calm. It's like when the wave comes in on a beach and water runs all over your feet for a few seconds before heading back out to sea. I can already see the calm receding. But I chose to walk on the sand and not follow the water back into the tide. I've chosen to turn completely away from the sea and walk into the dunes for a bit. I should be scared shitless right? Well maybe it is the fact that it hasn't happened yet and so I still have time to follow the sea or maybe it's just because I am so damn confident that I believe it's something I can accomplish. I feel confident. Things feel attainable. I feel like this ride has slowed down enough that I can look out and enjoy the views and enjoy the thrill of the ride for a little while and I can see the giant dip ahead... the one that is going to make feel like throwing my head back and screaming in utter terror. And today, I feel like the ride will catch and smooth out and I will be able to sit up and smile and say, "fuck, that was scary but a little fun and now that we've crossed through the dunes to this new ocean, I want to stay in the water for awhile."
Who: katehopeeden Where: San Antonio, Texas
Yeah, so I am all that you see here.
I am friendly and kind, crazy and bitchy, playful and flirty...
sometimes I am funny but mostly I just write the first thing that comes to mind and then stop when it ends.
I love life and I am lucky to be living the one that I am.
Want to know more? Click here!
"The most wasted day is one in which we have not laughed"
"Life moves pretty fast, if you don’t stop and look around once in a while you might miss it."
"Guys are like stars, there's a million of them out there but only one of them can make your dreams come true."
"Don't spend your life with someone you can live with, spend it with someone you can't live without."
"Reach for the moon, even if you miss you will still land among the stars"
These are a work in progress.
They are in the right order, but more will fill in the blank spaces in time as I write them.
"I just got done reading the history lessons on your blog (yes, I've been lurking on your blog).
All the respect I had for you...has increased, like, tenfold.
I don't think I could have done it.
To go through what you have and not only still be able to discuss it with such wit and poise,
but also to raise those three gorgeous girls. You are truly an inspiration.
You are honestly one of the strongest people I have ever known, either online or IRL.
Thank you so much." -Stef
"There are some of us out here who are living vicariously through you, okay?!
So for god's sake, let us have some fun and excitement!" -Educated Liberal
